CW: sexual violence
The horrific case of Dominique Pelicot sent shockwaves across France and the rest of the globe at the beginning of September. Dominique, a husband, father, and grandfather was brought to trial, accused of enlisting over 70 men to rape his wife whilst she was unconscious.
Dominique Pelicot, 72, was initially arrested in 2020 when he was caught upskirting three women in a shopping centre in the South of France. This led to the discovery of nearly 4000 shocking photos and videos across his devices. The footage, recorded over a 10-year period, appeared to show him and other men raping his wife, Gisèle Pelicot, whom he had repeatedly drugged with sleeping pills. Images of his daughter asleep without any clothes on were also found by authorities and it is not yet known whether she too was victim to sexual violence.
According to the French media, from 2011 to 2020, Mr. Pelicot approached over 100 different men on the site coco.fr (since shut down for its role in the circulation of paedophilic material) to take part in his horrific exploitation of his wife’s body.
Only 3/10 of these men declined.
The enlisted men, most living locally to the Pelicots, were given a strict set of guidelines to follow: no smoking, no perfume, to come to the house by foot and once in the house to undress in the kitchen before entering the couple’s bedroom, where they would find Gisèle Pelicot lying unconscious and were ‘permitted’ to enter her body, often without a condom.
For nearly a decade, Gisèle frequently sought medical advice, claiming to have unexplained memory loss and tiredness, unaware that her husband was orchestrating this abuse all along.
Arguably the most chilling part of this case is the profile of the perpetrators. These men, of which only 51 have so far been convicted, were not societal outcasts, hiding in the shadows with other sexual predators. These men are from all walks of life. They are nurses, teachers, a plumber, a journalist, a local councillor, a former police officer, a soldier. Many had no prior criminal record. Many have wives or girlfriends, some have children, and their ages range from 21-68. These men are, as journalist Hélène Devynck put it in her Le Monde opinion piece, ‘our friends, our lovers, our fathers, our brothers’.
These men live among us.
This not to suggest that every man is a sexual predator, but instead to demonstrate that sexual violence is something that infects every echelon of society. It is a systematic problem which must be addressed as such and not as something that exists only in certain social groups.
In an act of strength and solidarity, Gisèle Pelicot chose to waive her right to anonymity in this case, choosing to stand not only for herself but for every other individual who has been subjected to sexual violence and abuse.
Saturday 14th September saw over 10,000 people, mostly women, take to the streets in cities across France to show their support for Gisèle Pelicot and to demand justice for all those subjected to sexual violence and abuse. I was able to attend the protest held in Toulouse and walk alongside the 1000 others carrying banners reading ‘Justice pour Gisèle!’ (Justice for Gisèle), ‘La honte doit changer de camp’ (Shame must switch sides) and ‘Halte à la culture du viol’ (Stop rape culture). Chants echoed through the streets, calling for change.
Most of the protesters were, unsurprisingly, women. But there were also men and children present. It feels important to highlight the fact that most of the men I saw were there with other women (from what I could tell looking around). This shows that there is still a lot of work to be done to ensure that this fight for change is being made by everyone, not just women. Men must inform themselves. They must not be afraid to include themselves in the conversations surrounding these issues and must fight to end sexual violence and abuse against women. Because 9/10 instances of sexual assault are committed by men, so without male involvement in the fight, how are we ever going to bring about real change?
The beautiful sunny weather in Toulouse added to the atmosphere of hope and positivity amongst the protesters despite the harrowing reason behind the march on Saturday. This sense of hope for change was further brought to the fore at the end of the march when all the protesters came together in a square to listen to those who wished to speak.
Many women gave their own testimonies; hideous stories of sexual abuse, violence and incest, further highlighting how depressingly common these acts of barbarity are. However, I was struck by the positivity each of these women also expressed, encouraging other women to share their own experiences, to seek support groups, therapy and therefore giving confidence, strength, solidarity to the next speaker and to the rest of the crowd.
A few men also spoke. One man expressed his vow to join the fight to end sexual violence, and to ensure he used his privileged position as a man to educate other men on this issue too. This is what we need to see more of.
Education was a theme that threaded through many of the speeches given in Toulouse. And this rings true. It is imperative that we instil feminist values in our children, especially young boys, teaching them the importance of consent, healthy relationships, and how to spot and challenge toxic behaviour or ideas expressed by other men and boys. We also need to educate ourselves, remain informed and continue to demand change.
After the weekend’s protests, Gisèle Pelicot expressed her gratitude for all the support shown. She courageously dedicated her struggle to all those around the world who have been subjected to sexual violence. Her words, “Look around you, you are not alone” serve as a poignant reminder that together we are stronger than the perpetrators of these heinous crimes. Change is possible.
-Freya
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