Post #26 - Dear Men... Some Thoughts on Porn consumption
- GINA
- 1 day ago
- 4 min read
A reminder of our organisational stance on porn: We believe that porn can perpetuate, condone & profits from violence against women & girls. Upon viewing, porn can influence attitudes towards & distort views surrounding bodies, relationships, consent women & sex.
Whilst it is very important to draw attention to the negative effects of mainstream porn, its role in shaping unhealthy attitudes towards sex, its potential to normalise violence against women and detrimental impact on relationships. We need a more nuanced conversation.
So, let’s first examine how mainstream porn contributes to harmful norms but then also explore alternatives such as “feminist” porn, different in its aim to depict all types of bodies, races, sexualities and desires. And most importantly, let’s start talking, openly, honestly and without shame, about the porn we consume.
First, we can’t ignore the dark side of the porn industry. Countless studies reveal the harmful impact of watching mainstream porn, particularly on young people, especially boys. It shapes their view of women, distorting their expectations of sex and affects their self-esteem and mental health. Mainstream porn rarely depicts safe sex practices, with condoms and other forms of contraception pretty much absent. Instead, it often shows the ‘pull-out’ method which reinforces unsafe sex practices.
Another issue is the lack of diverse body representation. Most actors fit into an unrealistic beauty standard which can fuel body image issues among viewers. For example, there is a constant depiction of large penises amongst male performers. This unrealistic portrayal serves only to create insecurity and shame amongst men who feel as though, to be desirable or good at sex, they must meet this exaggerated standard (note that many actors rely on digital editing, prosthetics or performance-enhancing drugs).
Similarly, the portrayal of orgasms is misleading in mainstream porn, depicting vaginal orgasm as the norm, despite the fact that only about 20% of people with vaginas orgasm this way. Most need clitoral stimulation, yet mainstream porn rarely acknowledges this truth.
It gets even worse when we consider the prevalence of violence and aggression in mainstream porn, which reduces women to objects of male pleasure whilst reducing men to subjects of dominance and aggression. According to the UK sexual health charity Brook, 45% of online porn shows physical aggression like choking or gagging which is usually directed at women. A government review, published last month, found non-fatal strangulation (NFS) to be ‘rife’ in porn, negatively affecting people’s sex lives, especially young consumers. Moreover, men’s pleasure is emphasised in 78% of videos, whereas women’s pleasure is depicted in only 18%.
This imbalance doesn’t only damage women’s sexual experiences, but also men’s as it reinforces the expectation that male pleasure is more important, contributes to outdated gender stereotypes and leaves little room for genuine connection and mutual understanding of each other's sexual needs.
It would seem natural to respond to these statistics, as anti-porn activists like Gale Dines and Julia Long do, with a call for tighter censorship of porn, especially when we think of the levels of violence shown in mainstream porn and the normalization of this aggression.
However, there are suggestions that banning porn may not address the root of the problem. Consider Denmark, Sweden and West Germany, which censored hardcore pornography from 1964 to 1984 in an attempt to bring down rates of sexual violence against women and girls. During the censorship years they noticed that sexual violence and rape remained constant. But, more surprisingly, when they lifted the censorship, sexual violence against women dropped from 30 per 100,000 to 5 per 100,000.
We also know young people are watching porn. A 2023 report by Dignify, a UK charity researching sexual abuse, found that the average age at which children first see porn is 12 and approximately 40% of secondary school students have watched porn with 88% of them returning to it, primarily for personal enjoyment and for learning more about sex.
It has been argued that, rather than focussing on censorship, perhaps we need to rethink what kind of porn dominates the industry, shifting away from violent, misogynistic content and moving toward more ethical, realistic depictions of sex.
This is where “feminist” and “ethical” porn comes in.
“Feminist” porn is a movement and a genre which, according to feminist porn director Tristan Taormino (in conversation with Ms Naughty, 2015) aims to find the ‘cracks’ in mainstream pornography where ‘expansion is possible’. Growing out of the pro-sex ideology which sought to revise sexual subjectivity during the 1980s, it remains relatively unknown.
The annual ‘Feminist Porn Awards’ (created by Chanelle Galant and her colleagues at the sex-positive sex toy shop Good for Her in Toronto in 2006), outline their criteria for “feminist” porn:
- Women must be involved in the production, conception and direction of the work
- The content must depict female pleasure and/or orgasms, as well as agency for all performers
- There must be a diverse representation of race, gender and sexuality
- The content must challenge mainstream porn tropes in some way
- The production methods must be ethical (many feminist pornographers liken their pornography to Fair Trade food production, ensuring decent working conditions for actors and actresses, appropriate pay and bonuses and wellbeing support)
Unlike mainstream porn, which is often exploitative, “feminist” porn is not typically free, because ethical production costs more money. The main difference is that these videos emphasize consent, respect between the performers and safe sex practices.
Some “feminist” porn platforms such as Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex series, provide interviews or conversations with the performers beforehand, where they discuss their genuine sexual fantasies, establish trust and define and test boundaries. This contextualizes the ensuing content, emphasizing that any dominance, submission and violence are entirely consensual and stem from the performers’ own desires.
We need to start talking more about porn openly, honestly and without shame to foster healthy attitudes to sex and relationships.
Let’s start these conversations with friends and younger members of the family and (most importantly) with ourselves in an open and constructive way. The more we critically engage with mainstream porn, the more we push the industry towards creating safer more representative content.
- F. Coull
Sources:
If you suspect you have a negative relationship with Porn, Brooke provides helpful support and information -> https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/porn/#get-help
Bibliography
Taormino et al. (2013). Introduction . In: The Feminist Porn Book. Feminist Press at The City University of New York, pp.14–25.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Z9LaQtfpP_8&embeds_referring_eu ri=https%3A%2F%2Ferikalust.com%2F&source_ve_path=MTc4NDI0
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